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“I don’t want you with her.”

Subject line: Praying for Daylight

The whole day is hard without you. But, it’s the nighttime that is unbearable. It gets dark and things start to settle and my mind starts to spin. My heart breaks into a million tiny pieces each night, over and over. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I do not understand it honestly, I do not get why I am this messed up. I do not want to be this upset, this broken. I don’t want you with her. I love you, I wish you still loved me.

“I shared myself with you.”

subject line: so missing you…

I hate this. I hate that I told you that your bullshit was bullshit. And if you popped up, I wouldn’t say no. I miss you so. Your kisses were like air… like water. I needed you. I needed you, but I was not willing to say all of this. I let you see my vulnerable heart. I shared myself with you. We’re grown ups. You know the complexities. And you know the depth of my feelings. It is a precious thing.

I just love you more than you can ever know.

“Get out of my thoughts!”

Subject line:

I don’t love him like I love you…

I am trying to forget you with another man but time doesn’t seem to erase your mistakes. I am treying but I don’t want to, I can’t…Because I don’t love him like I love you. Days go by but I have a hard time breathing this perfume so different from yours, worse I have count every minute that I spend with him like I was my own detainee. Ithas been almost 4 months that he saved me from you. Sometimes I wonder where I would be in life for you. Sometimes I wonder what you do, where you are, who you love…Get out of my thoughts!!
He has tried to console me, even if he doesn’t have your words or your past. He has dried all my tears you know, he has picked up the broken pots and he paid all your nonsense, your frauds, your mistakes..basically all that you left me. Even though we argue a lot and he is not a romantic he is crazy about me and knows me well and he tells me ‘I love you’ sometimes during hours..But he doesn’t have your odor, so why am I smelling you in his arms? Get out of my thoughts!!
I don’t love him like you, tell me why!! I want to forget you. Take back your dreams and disappear because I want to love him like you.
P.s: You should have never contacted me again…Because all you did was breaking my heart again and I am still bleeding..

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