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“I have screwed up in the past”

I wish I could have you back. I have screwed up in the past but we were young. We all make mistakes. I am ready to change and be the man that you need in your life. For the past couple years I think I have shown that. I really miss you and I didnt think I had another chance because I thought you were going to marry the man you were living with recently. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and be a good person right from the start. Im sorry for everything I did and If I had a…what chance are we on now….oh that doesnt matter. I just need one more. Thats all it would take. I want to grow old with you. I want to be your strength. I want…you. I will never love anyone else the way I love you. You are my soul mate. You complete this man. Corny I know…but there it is.

“You were too scared to get hurt,”

Subject line: I wish you nothing but the best.

I miss you so much. We had an amazing thing but it terrified you. You were the best friend I ever had. You were too scared to get hurt, but I never would have hurt you. Instead you hurt me and the baby. I ended saying things that were harsh, but I was trying to make you see reality and not sugar coat everything. I still love you with all my heart. And the baby misses you. I pray every day that you get your shit together so that you will no longer be afraid to let anyone else in. I wish you the best. I’ve made up my mind, I’m moving to NY as soon as I possibly can. Without you, nothing feels right here anymore. Good luck. Take care of yourself. I love you and miss you.

“I didn’t deserve any of that treatment.”

Subject line: I really hate that I miss you.


It’s been a few weeks since you burned me in the worst way you could think of. I really just want to forget you and move on. But you’re in my dreams again. And all the shitty things I’ve done since you to move on have just made me miss your late night visits more. I don’t know how, but I let you break me. If you hadn’t crossed that last line I could forgive everything else. We could have gone back to how things used to be in a few months, or could have just been close friends. But you’re a coward, and you had someone finish what was mine. That’s the closest thing I have to a god, and you shit all over it. So I really wish I didn’t even care enough to hate you, but you got under my skin…. I didn’t deserve any of that treatment. Fuck you.

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