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“I lay here at night thinking about you, wondering if I’ve crossed your mind at all.”

Subject line: I LOVE YOU

I do. I love you!!! I lay here at night thinking about you, wondering if I’ve crossed your mind at all. I would have never thought all of this would have happened with us. I wish it could be more than what it is. I would love to fall asleep & wake up next to you. I’ve always wondered exactly how people know they have found that one special person. Because of you, I now know what that feels like. Which is amazing, but sad now. Although it feels so right, We both chose a path long before meeting. Paths neither of us will detour from. So, I’ll be seeing you in our next lifetime. Always know I love you.

“I gave years of my life to you”

Subject line: I miss you
I gave years of my life to you and I don’t know how to get over this. I know I was the one that told you not to get attached because of our situation. I realize now what a mistake I made and we should have been free to share our feelings knowing that we cared for one another more than the situation we’re in.

I think about you all the time! I keep telling myself that it will take time for me to get over you, but I don’t want to get over you. I want you to be here with me so I can hold you and give you everything you want in life.

I just know I love you very much and want to get through this with you instead of not having you around in the future. If you ever read this and know I’m talking about you, I’ll alway be here for you no matter what.

You are and will forever be my love and best friend!

“i have made some horrible mistakes.”

Subject line: Lost the bag of marbles

somewhere along the way we lost our way. i lost my bag of marbles.
now you’re here and i am there and we’re so far apart.
this isn’t what we ever imagined. so how did we get here?
why did we stop here? let’s keep going and turn this dynamic around.
i have made some horrible mistakes. the best thing i can do is to be remorseful where I have wronged
and to grow from this. I can’t leave us like this. Even though I have someone else, I cannot leave you
this way. Don’t you understand? Can’t you see how close you are to me? LIKE a soul mate.

Come back and be a friend. I’ll find the marbles. Please walk with me Give this a chance.

I will love you in so many different ways always and forever. We can grow from our mistakes. We can do better. We will.

“Despite my insanity I have a heart”

Subject line: Despite my Insanity

Despite my insanity I have a heart, and it still loves you, remembers you, and would rather stop beating than, stop loving you! I said always and I meant it! I didn’t say, if you do I do, or if you stop I will! I said always no matter what happens! Even in the darkest coldest moments of pain, you, your friends, society, your therapist, or any other person or force in this world can not change what is in my heart! In my heart is you! I accept you for what you are and love you for just that always! Even if it is the man who forgot me, hates me, blames me, and dreads me! Whatever, wherever, or whoever you are is who I love you for always! ALWAYS always

“I will stick by you until you leave.”

Subject line: I will miss you so much… = (

I love you. I always have and I always will. No matter the distance when you move.. no matter what we have been through.

You’re leaving me soon.. and i am dreading it each and every day. My world will be torn apart. I know you no longer feel the same love that i do, but i want you to know that you will always have someone loving you completely in new mexico.

You’re at the store right now giving me the chance to say this. I guess i just needed an outlet to get this off my mind. Its driving me crazy.

I will stick by you until you leave. I know I’ll be destroyed, but i’d rather spend every moment i can with you instead of regretting not doing so when you leave and i never see you again.

I strongly believe you and i belong together. I just wish you could see..
If I could take back everything I did to push you away, I would in a heartbeat. You don’t know how much regret I have and I wish i could have a do over. We both made mistakes, but no relationship is perfect. We could have worked on things.

BTW.. home isn’t where family is.. home is where your heart is. I wish you love, luck, and happiness. Even though it kills me to say this, I really hope you end up being so happy there. Find love.. and she better love you as deeply as I do. It would hurt me to find out someone hurt you.

XOXOXO always.

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