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Currently Browsing: Regret

“I regret some of our bad memories”

Subject line: new destinations, out of the grey

we spoke briefly and it was nice. glad you have found somebody new whom you love and who loves you, and grateful the same has happenned to me.
I found it odd when you told me ‘you couldn’t pay me to live in Toronto’. I mean I know you have so much experience there and all. a big spread out city with many havens actually, and I’ll be up against a beautiful canyon with a plethora of nature. an agressive city a more dangerous city, but place is what people make of it also and there is much sunchine and people seem happier than in greytown.

As you spit on my next destination, i quietly wondered about your upcoming move to Bellingham? A beautiful place, yes, but have fun been being that far North and the isolation from people you know, not to mention the added rain and grey. Well, at least I wouldn’t tell you that as beautiful as bham is and as much fun as I’ve had there in my life, you’d actually need to pay me to live there as well. I suppose the would be kind of a dig, or at a minimum ignorant contempt prior to investigation of a place.

As we go into our directions of life from here seperate of each other I just want to wish you the best in life. What a crazy couple of years we had together getting sober! I regret some of our bad memories but will always remember the good ones, and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for helping me to see that window I was able to climb through, the window into sobriety. Good luck Richard, I believe in you!

I missed you and miss you

Subject line: I missed you and miss you

For over ten years now, we have had a rocky relationship. It figures that when we finally both get on the same page and decide to be happy you have to leave. I miss you and want you to come back home. It kills me not to be able to tell you the little things anymore – a stupid joke I heard on Family Guy, the crazy shit my dad said, or just calling to hear you tell me you love me.

“The thought of letting you go makes me miserable”

Subject line: “Sandra, You make me crazy”

You make me crazy in a good way. I love the time we spend together but I’m scared..I wish you understood. As if the situation wasn’t complex enough…I am falling head over heels in love with you..
The thought of letting you go makes me miserable but If I stay you will only get hurt. I will too but the thought of you being hurt is worse. This is the hardest thing I’ve faced.

“I spend every waking moment second guessing my decision”

Subject line: I hope I don’t regret this but maybe I already do

I am so sorry if I hurt you. I spend every waking moment second guessing my decision, and now I am second guessing my second guessing. I want kids yes… I want you yes… grrrrrrr. So why did I have to make this decision I ask myself constantly. Frankly after a couple of weeks I lean towards you. You are my rock, you are my love, and you are the most amazing person I have ever met. Back and forth I go. There was no good choice here, and I knew any one would lead to heartbreak, and it certainly has. Now you won’t even speak to me. So this is what I wish for you:. Find that man who is right for, who will care for you, and who will hold you. May your life be wonderful. I want nothing for the best for you. I love you and may life smile on you always

“We let life get in the way”

Subject line: So Much More Left…..

Listen. Me and you are special. We let life get in the way. I love you more than you will ever know. We were like band aids for each other because we were at the worst times of our lives. I miss you dearly. It sucks the way things are right now. We have made half assed attempts at contacting each other. Hell… We’ve both made some mistakes but you telling me some things captured my heart. I would do anything for you…I already have…even your Aunt says so. Let’s put all the BS aside and be something. In or Out? Love.

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