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Currently Browsing: Best Letters

“You smug ,unwarranted pretentious prick;”

Dear Ben,

You smug ,unwarranted pretentious prick; I am positive that gave you some sort of perverse pleasure.
This is what I truly think:
It all starts when I gaze into your eyes looking for your soul, only to find your empty, meaningless antidotes and one-liners, which, by the way, reeked of the worst kind of insincerity- obligatory. Get off of your self proclaimed pedestal and open your eyes. When will the imprudent deceit stop? You don’t have to right to patronize anyone. You may think, in some delusional way, that you are “sparing feelings”- hardly the case. Although, I can’t get off the hook that easily, I must admit there were several times conceded to your patronizing words only to make things “easier”, but usually not without allowing some choice words to calm myself. While I’m on the subject, who do you think you are? A gift? Really? Isn’t it just enough to be with someone? Why must you create a sense artificial adoration? Is it in order to make things more comfortable? Are you incapable of saying what you really feel? Notice I said feel, not think; most of the people in your life a fully aware of your capacity to ruin a perfectly good time with your uncensored, excessive displays of what Brian knows. Congratulations!
All this said I feel I should clarify a few things. I still don’t know why I am attracted to you. Maybe it’s an illness I haven’t quite outgrown, or the classic women’s desire to “fix”. Who knows.. But even within your charade, I found a time to shine, which can only be described in one word- faked.
Well I feel better. Now there will no tension under the rare circumstance that we should see each other. It is quite liberating to say what you actually feel; you should try it some time. LOL

Best Wishes,
Jess

“I replay our conversations over in my head two or three times while trying to fall asleep.”

Subject line: I love you… so much!

I have thought about you every single day since the day we met. You are the most beautiful, most sincere, kindest, and loveliest woman I’ve ever known. You have a perfect smile and it literally makes my heart race every time I picture it in my head. I play it cool to your face – as cool as I can anyways – and try not to let on exactly how attracted I am to you. Truth be told, I look forward to my time with you more than I’ve ever looked forward to anything in my life. I replay our conversations over in my head two or three times while trying to fall asleep. Every time you touch my arm, harmlessly flirt, or even glance and make eye contact with me, a feeling so unbelievably amazing rushes through my veins. It is the greatest feeling I’ve ever experienced… every single time it happens. I am so grateful to have you in my life and even more grateful to have you as a friend. You mean the world to me.

It saddens me that I’m not the guy you’re with; but at the same time, I am happy for you because I know how happy you are. If I could tell you these things to you personally without screwing up our friendship and disrespecting your relationship, I would in a heartbeat. There are so many things I wish I could tell you… like how I am trying to become the absolute best person I can possibly be, so that if the time ever does come, and I’m lucky enough to be with you, I can be the man that you deserve to be with. I’m not there yet. I have a long, long ways to go. But I wake up every morning with the intention of trying to become everything you deserve. You have no idea – but you motivate me to be extraordinary. I promise you that I will give it everything that I’ve got. I love you! I love you!! I am so ridiculously in love with you!!

“I’m a disgrace.”

Subject line:  A simple but impossible wish- can you love me like I love you?

You keep breaking my heart and all I want is for you to tell me you love me and want only me and feel so lucky to have found me so that it can be in one piece again. This will never happen, I know. I should have stayed away from you like you said.  I don’t want to be consumed by you anymore. I know I’m not what’s most important to you. To think I held onto a chance I could be if I just gave you more time and then more- trying, cooking, wearing one thing after another to prove I was worthy of your love. I’m a disgrace. I hope one day soon I can wake up and you won’t be the first face in my battered brain. If only it was that easy, I’d have been in bed hours ago, not staying awake just so I can think about you more, humiliating myself further and further until there is nowhere to turn except to the bookshelf of self-help crap telling me what a fool I am for my feelings. How could you just leave me hanging like that?

“Best of luck finding someone to look past your 99 trillion fucked up flaws and still love you anyway.”

Subject line: You got what you wanted

Well you used to talk to me. You used to want to spend time with me, even if we weren’t doing anything profound.
Simplicity.
Now that you got your stupid ex back in your life , who fucked you over and up big time, you threw me to the wolves. I hope it was worth it to burn all your bridges and treat me like yesterday’s trash.
If I am wrong, prove it. But I’m not going to be in your life to be used. Not even talking to me has proven it all. Only when you need something.
Too bad, there was so much potential. Best of luck finding someone to look past your 99 trillion fucked up flaws and still love you anyway. It won’t ever happen.
With all that, I still want to feel your hands on me and your lips on mine. But god damn you have some fucked up priorities and no one can change that but you.
*sigh*

Love & Rage

subject line: ANGIE COLLINS, I LOVE YOU

I DON’T UNDERSTAND ! WE LOVE EACH OTHER WE KNOW WE ARE SUPPOSE TO BE TOGETHER ? WE ARE ADULTS , IT IS NOT FOR ANYONE BUT YOU AND I TO DECIDE IF WE ARE GOING TO BE TOGETHER. YOUR FAMILY HAS NO RIGHT TELLING YOU YOUR NOT SUPPOSE TO BE WITH ME . IT’S YOUR LIFE ANGIE AND IT’S YOUR CHOICE , NOT ANYONE BUT YOURS. YOU ARE MY WORLD I LOVE YOU AND I AM NOT GIVING UP. WAITING ON YOU FOREVER IF I HAVE TOO

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