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I can still feel the distrust and contempt

I want you to love me so I can ruin your life.
*I’m beginning to think that’s what you imagine I’m out to do. I’ve been kind, overly so. I try me best to not over or under-react but even from this side of the massive gap between us I can still feel the distrust and contempt. I feel as if someone has cut my heart open and stuffed a life-sized ghost of you inside and then forced it shut. Lately the lightest things feel overwhelmingly heavy… I’m aware my recent sadness isn’t solely from this situation but it’s harder to deal with life’s ups and downs with this weight in my heart.


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